Did you know I was voted "most likely to succeed" my senior year of high school? It's true. I don't usually tell people because I'm a little embarrassed. Plus, I'm pretty sure it's only because you could only win one award, and they ran out of cool kids before they finished dolling out the awards. Anyway, it was awkward because everyone kept asking me what I wanted to do with my life. As Miss Most-likely-succeed I knew I should have a killer answer.
Doctor? Lawyer? Rocket scientist? Or maybe even an entrepreneur? I didn't know what to say. The only thing I knew for sure is that I wanted to be a mother. People weren't overly impressed with that answer, but it didn't bother me too much. I knew that was the best thing I could choose to do.
So I got married. Finished my accounting degree (which, accountant probably would've been a more acceptable response to people had I known that's what I'd do). Started working. And here I am. Totally not where I expected to be in life.
I know people hate to ready sobby, whiney blog posts, which is why I haven't posted it before. Today I decided this is a big part of me, like it or not, so it's important for me to post. Yes, it's negative and yes it's personal, but it's who I am and what I'm struggling with today. Most likely to succeed, and I haven't been able to do the one thing I always wanted.
Days like today are crappy. I want to curl up and just tune out life. And honestly that's what I did today. But I also know I'll wake up tomorrow and get on with life again. A fast forward button would be really handy, wouldn't it? Since there isn't one, I have to say I was grateful to watch this instead:
4 comments:
I'm sorry you are struggling and having a bad day :( I hope things work out for you! We think about you guys often!
Oh Christie. Thanks for sharing that video, it was really touching and brought tears to my eyes. I am so wishing I could hug you right now. I don't really know what to say but I love you. You were and are such a great example to me, seriously you are so strong in the gospel and always making right choices. You will move on tomorrow and i think we need some of those days we just hide away. As long as we do continue on and have faith we will overcome all of our different obstacles in life. We don't understand our trails but there is a plan for each of us and it may take a long time for us to realize, if we ever, why we went through what we did. Call me anytime if you need to talk. I miss you. Kimber
Isn't it annoying to be in a different place than you planned?
I'm looking forward to the day (in the next life) when I can look back and finally see the wisdom in all the frustration. I know it is there. I just can't see it yet.
Christie, I'm sorry it has been a difficult road for you to Mommyhood. I'm glad you have a good perspective, although it is often really hard to see it that way. We are thinking of you and praying for you. Whether or not you believe it, you are a tough cookie. Hang in there!
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