Without Missing a Beat

Remember my lovely grandmother Ruthy? I've been thinking about her a lot lately. She gets $10 to spend for their weekly (monthly? not sure) visits to Wal-mart. The sweet woman used it to buy a pair of Miley Cyrus sweat pants for my mom's birthday. It reminded me of another great Grandma story.

A woman from church, bless her kind soul, decided to start visiting my grandma. She was telling my mother about this, but my mom tried to brace her. "I think it's so nice of you to visit my mother," she said, "and I'm sure she really enjoyed it. I have to warn you that she probably won't remember it though."

"Nonsense!" exclaimed the woman. "We had a really great visit, and she seemed very with it. I'm sure she'll remember." Just then my grandma walked up to the conversation. The woman introduced herself and said, "Hi, Ruth! I'm Elizabeth Jones [name made up for protection and also I don't remember her real name anyway]. I came by to see you the other day."

Without missing a beat my incomparable grandma lamented, "I am so sorry I missed you! I must've been out."

Cue the sound effect. On the bright side, this woman has been visiting regularly for months now, and my grandma does remember her and her two boys.

Most Likely to Succeed

Did you know I was voted "most likely to succeed" my senior year of high school? It's true. I don't usually tell people because I'm a little embarrassed. Plus, I'm pretty sure it's only because you could only win one award, and they ran out of cool kids before they finished dolling out the awards. Anyway, it was awkward because everyone kept asking me what I wanted to do with my life. As Miss Most-likely-succeed I knew I should have a killer answer.

Doctor? Lawyer? Rocket scientist? Or maybe even an entrepreneur? I didn't know what to say. The only thing I knew for sure is that I wanted to be a mother. People weren't overly impressed with that answer, but it didn't bother me too much. I knew that was the best thing I could choose to do.

So I got married. Finished my accounting degree (which, accountant probably would've been a more acceptable response to people had I known that's what I'd do). Started working. And here I am. Totally not where I expected to be in life.

I know people hate to ready sobby, whiney blog posts, which is why I haven't posted it before. Today I decided this is a big part of me, like it or not, so it's important for me to post. Yes, it's negative and yes it's personal, but it's who I am and what I'm struggling with today. Most likely to succeed, and I haven't been able to do the one thing I always wanted.

Days like today are crappy. I want to curl up and just tune out life. And honestly that's what I did today. But I also know I'll wake up tomorrow and get on with life again. A fast forward button would be really handy, wouldn't it? Since there isn't one, I have to say I was grateful to watch this instead:

Much Belated Thank You

After reminiscing about our engagement, I realized I owe some very belated thank you's. As I mentioned, my in-laws encouraged Ryan to take the plunge and have probably regretting it every day since. But they've been nice to me these 5 1/2 years nonetheless! Because that's the kind of in-laws they are. Then on top of the encouragement, my sil and bil also carried out the grunt work of the entire performance, driving up to Sundane and arranging the flowers and candle. And of course my sil welcomed us into her house afterward to take pictures and congratulate us.

Lastly (I think I hear the orchestra starting to drown out my thank-yous), I owe a thanks to very supportive friends. My roommates were patient in listening to my excitement and doubts. My cousin gave me the best advice in telling me that I already knew whether I was going to marry Ryan but that I just had to work through to get to that answer. She was right.

I realized that so many people helped to bring us together and regardless of whether they regret it now, I certainly am grateful.

Failings of Church Leadership

I know we're not supposed to speak ill of church leadership . . . but I think you all know I'm not perfect. So oh well. Nathan's story reminded me of some of the poor leadership my brother experienced. I actually dated a guy who later became my brother's church adviser. We'll call him Stewart. He was probably my brother's most consistent and concerned leader, in his own odd way, but he also did a few questionable things. Like taking the boys with him on his date. Instead of an activity.

Stewart decided to help the boys prepare to be better missionaries by giving them opportunities to teach. I have a fishy feeling that his real objective was to get out of teaching the lesson himself, but I can't prove it. Anyway, it seemed like an okay idea until he had my brother (my shy, still-scared-around-girls, 14-year-old brother) teach . . . the chastity lesson. Poor soul. I think he muttered a few words of "don't have sex before you're married" and sat down with something like 20 minutes left. I'm sure my brother's inspiring words kept at least half those boys virgins for their wedding nights. Probably.